The Most Underrated Leadership Skill? Love
Feb 16, 2026
Love Is a Leadership Practice Not Just a Valentine’s Day Idea. Research shows it's the most underrated leadership skill and one many are uncomfortable with demonstrating at work. I hope today's blog changes that.
February tends to put love in a very small box. Cards. Candy. One day on the calendar.
Leadership reminds us of something bigger: love shows up in how we treat people long before it shows up in a card or celebration.
Especially in demanding seasons, people don’t need grand gestures from leaders. They need consistency. Humanity. Care that shows up in ordinary moments that don’t just happen on Valentine’s Day. They’re demonstrated 365 days a year.
If leadership is influence, that’s how my mentor New York Times bestselling author John Maxwell defines it, then love done well is one of the most powerful forms of it.
Go First with Empathy
Leaders set the emotional tone of every room we walk into.
Going first with empathy doesn’t mean lowering expectations or avoiding accountability. It means assuming positive intent before jumping to conclusions. It means remembering that people are often carrying more than what’s visible in a meeting or inbox.
When leaders choose empathy first, trust grows faster and defensive energy fades.
Name What You Appreciate Out Loud
One of the simplest ways to show love in leadership is also one of the most overlooked: saying what you appreciate.
People work hard. They adapt. They stretch. Too often, leaders notice but don’t say it.
A genuine “thank you,” “I see the effort,” or “that made a difference” builds connection, confidence, and momentum. Recognition doesn’t have to be formal to be meaningful. It just has to be sincere.
In a recent staff meeting I had each team member share something they wanted others to know about their responsibilities. Many people’s eyes were opened to all the things their teammates do that they didn’t realize. My favorite part was publicly acknowledging how it all tied together and adding my thanks and specifically naming extra things each person does that most didn’t know about. It was a beautiful time of affirmation, and it built a stronger bond between us. Each person felt seen and appreciated. It was an impactful leadership experience.
Choose Kindness in the Small Moments
Love shows up most clearly in the moments no one is tracking.
How you respond when someone is late.
How you speak when things go wrong.
How you handle stress when pressure is high.
Kindness in leadership isn’t weakness. It’s discipline. It’s the daily choice to respond with patience, curiosity, and grace instead of frustration or urgency. I want to recognize that was10 times easier to write than to put into action every day. There are moments when my team has gotten on my last nerve and I WANT to scream but I don’t. However, I don’t ALWAYS hide my frustration well, but I always back it up with sincerity for my belief in the team member. My time spent learning at the feet of John Maxwell has taught me that no matter what someone does or doesn’t do, my job as a leader is to LOVE THEM ANYWAY. We all desire and deserve grace. If I want to receive it, I need to show it first.
The Leadership Kind of Love
Love in leadership isn’t sentimental. It’s practical.
It looks like empathy that steadies teams.
Appreciation that fuels engagement.
Kindness that creates psychological safety.
This Valentine’s week, the question isn’t how leaders can do more. It’s how they can show up differently. When people feel seen, respected, and valued, they don’t just perform better. They stay, they care, and they grow and isn't that what we want for our team?
That kind of love lasts far longer than February 14.