Let Them: Leading with Freedom Instead of Frustration
Oct 12, 2025
I’ve been thinking a lot about Mel Robbins’ Let Them, Let Me theory lately. If you’re not familiar with it, here’s the short version: when people do something that frustrates you, ignore your advice, make a choice you wouldn’t, or don’t show up the way you hoped, Mel says, “Let them.”
It sounds simple, almost too simple. But if you’ve ever led a team, raised a family, or worked with people (which is all of us), you know how often we get stuck trying to control what others do. We want them to act differently, think differently, or care as much as we do. That’s when frustration, resentment, and burnout creep in. Now I’ve got to be completely transparent here. On the surface, I hate this theory…especially as it relates to my 24-year-old son or team members who I believe so deeply in that my heart aches to see them make choices that hold them back instead of thrusting them forward into their destiny. However, with a lot of intention over the last year I’ve bonded with it, for the most part. Mel’s got a point that can free us and take away a tremendous amount of frustration in our lives.
Her advice flips the script. Let them. Let them be late. Let them make that decision. Let them show you who they are and then you decide what to do with that information. It’s not about giving up; it’s about giving yourself peace. I don’t know about you, but I could use a little more peace these days.
In leadership, this principle is powerful and much easier to help others than to do yourself. One of the biggest drains on a leader’s energy is trying to manage what’s beyond our control. When we embrace Let Them, we reclaim that energy and refocus it where it truly matters your actions, your responses, and your growth. That’s where Let Me comes in.
Let me set a clear boundary.
Let me focus on what I can control.
Let me keep leading by example.
It’s a small shift that creates a big impact. You move from reaction to reflection. From frustration to focus. From trying to fix everything and everyone to leading yourself well first.
Here’s how you can apply the Let Them and Let Me mindset in leadership this week:
1. Let Them Be Who They Are
When someone on your team handles a task differently than you would, resist the urge to correct every detail. Instead, ask yourself: Does their way still get the job done? If it does, let them. It builds trust and ownership. You might even learn a new approach.
2. Let Them Miss the Opportunity
It’s hard to watch someone miss a chance you know could help them grow. But micromanaging robs them of learning. Let them miss it once and then coach them afterward. Failure can be a better teacher than constant protection.
3. Let Me Protect My Energy
Every minute you spend worrying about what others should do is a minute you’re not investing in what you can do. Choose your focus intentionally. Spend more time leading yourself, less time managing everyone else’s emotions.
4. Let Me Model What Healthy Leadership Looks Like
When you practice calm detachment, your team feels it. They see that leadership isn’t about control. It’s about clarity, consistency, and compassion. You become the steady voice in a noisy workplace.
Leadership isn’t about forcing people to change; it’s about creating space for growth: yours and theirs. The Let Them mindset gives others permission to be themselves, and the Let Me mindset empowers you to stay grounded in who you are.
So, this week, when someone does something that makes you shake your head, take a deep breath and try Mel’s advice. Let them. Then gently remind yourself: Let me focus on what I can do next. That’s where your leadership power really lives.
I help leaders put ideas like this into action: transforming frustration into focus, and chaos into clarity. If you or your team are ready to build the calm confidence that comes from leading yourself first, let’s connect. Together, we can take your leadership to the next level.