The Leadership Blog

How to Defeat Your Own Disappointment

May 21, 2023

Do you have a process for defeating disappointment in your life?  I do.  I wrote a whole chapter about it in my book, “The 7D’s to your Destiny.”  Defeating disappointment is always easier said than done, but it can be done.


“Disappointment is really just a term for our refusal to look on the bright side.” Richelle E. Goodrich


When we’re disappointed, sometimes we wallow because we think it makes us feel better.  I’m all for venting and talking through our disappointments but we have to put a limit on it so we can move forward.  I try my best to nail that coffin of disappointment shut when I go to bed each night. When I wake up the next day, I force myself to start thinking about solutions.  What actions do I need to take to turn around the situation?  I work hard to be solution oriented.  That’s my favorite way to defeat disappointment.  I find possible solutions so uplifting.  I think it has to do with the power that comes over me when I take action.  I often call action my superpower.  The power of taking action seems to create a positive feeling in me and even the wrong action steps usually lead us to the next step that can get us to the desired outcome.

Arriving at possible solutions helps to rock your tires back and forth and before you know it, you are out of the rut and onto real progress.  Taking action really helps.  Give it a try.  I bet you’ll have the same positive outcome. 

“We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.”  Martin Luther King, Jr.

Life is filled with choices and we need to choose to see the good in everything, even in the bad.  Bad things can make you stronger, if you allow them to make you better and not bitter.  What does it mean to be bitter?  My perspective on bitterness means you’re angry at the world or angry at the person or situation that caused you pain.

Disappointment can turn to anger and bitterness at the speed of light.  Bitterness refuses to acknowledge its rival, sweetness, that which is good in our world.  To stay bitter keeps what's sweet in the dark. The co-pilot of bitterness is anger.  I’ve always said anger is the most worthless emotion.  It doesn’t hurt the person you’re angry with-it only hurts you.  Chances are you’ve already endured enough pain from the situation.  There are those rare people who use anger to motivate themselves to do better but, more often than not, it can eat you alive.

Researchers at the Mayo Clinic have found that bitterness can lead to a slew of problems for your health that include…

  1. Poor Relationships

  2. Mental Health Issues

  3. Anxiety

  4. Stress

  5. Hostility

  6. High Blood Pressure

  7. Depression

  8. Weakened Immune System

  9. Heart Problems

  10.  Poor Self-Esteem

I only have time to share one more tip to help you defeat disappointment CHOOSE JOY!  

 Let go of the myth that you should always be happy.  Happiness is an emotion that’s contingent upon things that happen to you, things that you often have no control over, like the weather, someone else’s attitude, the day of the week, or someone on social media who seems to be having a better day than you.

I choose joy and I hope you will too.  It can help you defeat disappointment and gain perspective.  When you realize you have the power to choose and take action to defeat disappointment, your focus shifts in the right direction.